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being entitled…to a “brain dump” June 20, 2007

Posted by andrea in ephemera.

So, I was out with some long-lost-back-in-the-nefarious-days friends this evening (from high school, no less). And all three of us are a) raising kids; b) working successfully; c) happy that we scraped in under the insane TO housing prices; and d) wondering where the process of having to work to achieve something went, given the new brood we encounter every day.

D – who has had a thriving design firm for about 20 years, says he wants no part of trying to offer web sites, since it’s way too hard to find people who will show up on time, or deliver on time, or just generally be responsible. K – says that the process of learning-failing-trying again has been lost.

I agree with them both. And to D, I apologize for all the shiftless dudes that he’s had to deal with. And I totally understand K’s thing when the bakery she’s been going to for two years to buy baguettes to serve along with the organic soup program she does at her daughter’s school…yeah, the staff roll their eyes, and tell her “no, those baguettes are for customers”. Um, she’s a customer! With money! Gaaaaaah.

Remember the days, when you got out of school, and were glad to start at the bottom, and learn the ropes, wherever? Well, now, apparently, the ropes start at being managing director, or VP, or what-have-you. Um, why? Where’s your passport? Not just about the skill, but all the stuff that you (I believe) cannot learn or read, only by actually doing.

I had a similar conversation earlier today, with another friend who was tutoring someone’s daughter. She found the class too hard, so she never went. A week before her final paper was due (the one that would determine whether she graduated or not), she called him. And he helped her. He did not write the paper, that is for sure. But there was much weeping, and drama…”it was TOO hard”.

Um, school is called that for a reason…it’s not supposed to be something you swan through, unencumbered by effort, or worry. If it’s too easy, stretch yourself further, and find something where you ARE (reasonably) concerned, or worried, or stressed enough to actually care about what you do, and the outcome it produces.

My husband (the inimitable H) has a renovation company. No matter how many times he explains things to his guys, they never get it until they experience the “uh oh” themselves. Cheesily, (considering I went to a school called School of Experiential Education) I said well, until you’re the one standing under the plumbing when it all goes to literal shit, then you don’t get it. Life gives good lessons. Sometimes they suck. But they always teach…something.

My biggest “mantra” (I guess) is that life will continually hand your ass to you, on a plate…what you choose to do with that potential knowledge is your own decision. Learn, and reflect, and keep learning. Or don’t learn, and blame, and keep blaming.

Mistakes are good…and time spent in the trenches is good.

this post didn’t actually go the way I planned, but went sideways…I take responsibility for that. It’s just me, yappin’. 🙂



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